When I was young I didn‘t like going to weddings.
My grandmother would tell me, “You‘re next.”
However, she stopped doing that after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
我还年轻的时候，我不喜欢参加婚礼。
我的祖母会给我说，“下一个就是你了。”
但是自从在葬礼上我也这样跟她说之后，她就再也不那样了。
A: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant‘s milk and gained twenty pounds in a week?
B: That‘s impossible. Whose baby?
A: An elephant‘s.
A：你有没有听说过有个婴儿以大象奶为食，一个星期长了20磅（英语笑话带翻译 www.lyy5.com）？
B：这不可能，是谁的婴儿？
A：大象的。
A woman said to an old man. “I couldn‘t help noticing how happy you look. What‘s your secret for a long happy life?”
“I smoke 3 packs of cigarettes a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise.”
“That‘s amazing. How old are you?”
“26.”
一名女子对一个老年人说：“我没办法不注意到，您实在很快乐。您快乐长寿的秘诀是什么呢？”
“我一天抽三包烟，一周喝一箱威士忌，经常吃油腻食物，从不锻炼。”
“太神奇了，您多大了？”
“26岁。”
Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping.
When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, “I‘m meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?”
飞机乘务人员把口香糖发放给乘客，并解释说口香糖能防止高空耳鸣。
飞机着陆后，一名乘客跑向乘务员说：“我马上就要和妻子见面了，怎样才能把口香糖从我的耳朵里拿出来呢？”
