One real man 一个真正的男子汉

 

1.One real man

The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely(严格地,严厉地).

Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives‘ directions and counsel(劝告,建议) to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.

It‘s good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell these chickenhearted(胆小的) dunces(傻瓜) why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.

Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.

 

翻译:

一个真正的男子汉

古代有一个国王,他想证明他领土内的男人并非像人们传说的那样,受到老婆的管制。他把王国里所有的男人都召到跟前,警告说,哪个男人胆敢不说实话,就会受到严厉的惩罚。

然后,他叫所有听从妻子的命令和意见的男人都走向大厅的左侧。所有的男人都站到了左侧,只有一个小个子男人站到了右侧。

国王说:看到我们国家里还有一个真正的男子汉,真是令人高兴。告诉这些胆小的笨蛋,为什么在他们当中只有你一个人站在大厅的右侧。

陛下,那人尖声地回答:因为在我出门之前,我老婆告诉我不要扎堆。

 

 

 

 

2.What‘s your name?

A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train. He had never seen them before,so he began:My name is Stone, and I‘m even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there‘ll be trouble. Don‘t try any tricks with me, and then we‘ll get on well together

Then he went to each soldier one after another and asked him his name. Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly, he said, and don‘t forget to call me ‘sir‘.

Each soldier told him his name, unitl he came to the last one. This man remained silent, and so Captain Stone shouted at him, When I ask you a question, answer it! I‘ll ask you again: What‘s you name, soldier?

The soldier was very unhappy, but at last he replied. My name is Stonebreaker, sir. He said nervously.

翻译:
你叫什么名字?

有一位很严厉的军官在对一群交由他训练的新兵训话。他以前从没见过这群新兵,于是他开始自我介绍:我的名字叫Stone(石头),事实上,我甚至比石头更强硬。这就是我为什么要告诉你们我名字的原因。不要试图对我玩什么花招,这样我们就能很好相处了。

接着他开始走到每个士兵前面问他们的名字。说大声点,让每个人都能听清楚。另外,不要忘记称呼我为长官。他说。

每个士兵都对他说了自已的名字。他走到最后一位士兵面前时,这个士兵保持着沉默。于是Stone队长对他喊叫,当我问你问题的时候,要回答!我再问一遍,你的名字,士兵?

那个新兵很不高兴,但最后他回答了。我的名字是Stonebreaker(碎石机),长官。他紧张的说。

 

 
3.A New Employee

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director‘s office.

What is the meaning of this? the director asked. When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years‘ experience. Now we discover this is the first job you ever held.

Well, the young man said, in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.

翻译:

新员工

一个年轻人在被雇用几个星期后,被叫到人事经理的办公室。

这是什么意思?经理问,当你申请这份工作时,你告诉我们有五年工作经验,现在我们发现这其实是你的第一份工作。

嗯,年轻人回答,你们的广告上说需要找一个有想象力的人嘛。

 
4.The Mean Man‘s Party   

The notorious(声名狼藉的,臭名昭著的) cheap skate(小气鬼) finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, “Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow(肘部,扶手) . When the door open, push with your foot.”
  
“Why use my elbow and foot?”
  
“Well, gosh,” was the reply, “You‘re not coming empty-handed, are you?”

翻译:

吝啬鬼的聚会 
 
一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说:“你上到五楼,用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后,再用你的脚把门推开。”
  
“为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?”

“哦,天啊”(吝啬鬼)回答说:“你不会空手来的是吧?”

 

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