The Doctor and the servant 博士与小厮

1.The Doctor  and the servant


A wealthy old lady who lived near Dr.Swift used to send him presents occasionally by her servant.Dr.Swift took her presents but never gave the boy anything for his trouble.One day as Swift was busy with his writing, the boy rushed into his room, knocked some books out of their place, threw his parcelon the desk and said,“ my mistress has sent you two of herrab bits.” Swift turned round and said,“My boy, that is not the way to deliver your parcel.Now, you sit in my chair,watch my way of doing it and learn your lesson.” The boy sat down. Swift went out, knocked on his door and waited. The boy said“Come in.” The doctor entered,walked to his desk and said,“If you please sir, my mistress sends her kind regards and hopes you will accept these rabbits which her son shot this morning in her fields.” The boy answered,“Thank you, my boy, Give your mistress and her son my thanks for their kindness and here is two shillings for yourself.” The Doctor laughed, and after that, Swift never forgot to give the boy his tip.



在斯威夫特博士家附近,有一位富有的老妇人,她时常打发仆人给他送礼物。斯威夫特博士接受她的礼物,但从不给小厮任何酬谢。一天,斯威夫特博士正忙着写东西,小厮冲进了他的房间,把书一扒拉,将一个包裹扔在书桌上,说道:“我的女主人送给你两只兔子。” 斯威夫特转过身来说:“孩子,包裹可不是这样送法呀。现在,你坐在我的椅子上,看看我是怎么送的,并要记取这个教训。” 小厮坐了下来,斯威夫特走出去,敲了敲门,等待回音。小厮说“进来”。博士进了门,走到桌旁说道:“先生,我的女主人向您致以亲切的问候,并希望您收下这些兔子,这是她儿子今天早晨在地里打的。” 小厮回答说:“谢谢你,我的孩子。向你的女主人和她的儿子致谢,谢谢他们的关心。这两个先令是送给你本人的。” 博士笑了,打那以后,斯威夫特从没忘记送小费给小厮。

2.A Man Who Said No


A friend of mine noticed a man staggering about in the Times Square subway station. A well-dressed Wall Street type, his coat was unbuttoned, a briefcase dangled from his hand and he‘d obviously had one too many.  
Asked if he was all right, the man gave a slurred but affirmative response. However, my friend simply could not see someone brave the rough maw of a New York subway without trying to help. He followed the chap, and again asked, “Are you sure you‘re all right? What subway are you looking for? Do you need help getting home?”   
At last, the object of his attentions snarled, in a low voice, “Leave me alone! I‘m an undercover cop!”






3.A Speeding Motorist


A highway patrol officer stopped a speeding motorist. “Don‘t you know what the blinking lights and siren mean?” he demanded.  
“Yes, sir,” replied the driver.   
“Then why didn‘t you pull over immediately?”   
“I would have, officer, ” the man said. “But last month my wife ran off with a policeman, and I was afraid you were bringing her back.





4.I used to take flying lessons
After 20 years as a pilot, I became an airport manger and soon found the stress was getting to me. I needed a release and wanted to buy a motorcycle, but my family thought it was too dangerous. My wife said, “Why don‘t you start flying again?”  
The next day, as I showed a businessman around the airport, he looked longingly at the planes.” I used to take flying lessons, but my wife made quit,” he lamented. “She said it was dangerous.   
“Tell her you want to get a motorcycle,” I advised. My newfound friend has now earned his pilot‘s license.





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