cold and chaude
A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. “This is an outrage,” he complained. “The faucet marked C gave me boiling water.””But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude – French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal.””Wait a minute,” roared the patron. “The other tap is also marked C.””Of course,” said the manager, “It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city.”
冷与热
蒙特利尔咖啡馆的一位顾客拧开盥洗室的水龙头，结果被水烫伤了。“这太可恶了，”他抱怨道，“标着C的龙头流出的是开水。”“可是，先生，C代表Chaude，在法语里代表‘热‘。如果您住在蒙特利尔的话就应该知道这一点。”“等等，”那位顾客咆哮着，“另外一个龙头标的也是C。”“那当然，”经理说道：“这个C代表冷。毕竟，蒙特利尔是个双语城市。”
speeding
Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. “Don‘t you ever look at the speedometer?” the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. “As fast as I was going,” I admitted, “I was afraid to take my eyes off the road.”
超速
因为旅行推销员为了谋生需要拜访尽量多的客户，所以超速飞车赶场对于他们来说也不是没有过的事情。有一次我就因为超速度行驶被一个公路巡警拦了下来。“你有没有看过你的时速表？”那名警官责问。当我的回答一出口，我立刻后悔了，但已经太晚了。“车开得越来越快”，我如实地说，“我的眼睛得一直盯着前面，没敢看别的”。
The Monkey
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says “Do you know your monkey stole my beer.” The pianist replies “No, but if you hum it, I‘ll play it.”
猴子
一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。他喝了一口放下。当他环视酒吧时，发现一只猴子荡下来，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。服务员回答说是钢琴手的。男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗？”钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。”
It‘s a good thing we didn‘t catch any more
Larry and Harry drove 500 miles to go fishing. They paid a huge sum to rent a cabin, a similar about to rent a boat. They fished for three days and caught only one fish between them.On the way home, Harry fiddled with（摆弄，玩弄） a calculator while Larry drove. After an hour, Harry said, Do you realize that this one fish we caught cost us almost $2,000?Wow! Larry said, It‘s a good thing we didn‘t catch any more.
幸亏我们没有多钓到鱼
拉里和哈里驱车500英里去钓鱼。两人花了一大笔钱租了一间小屋，又花了差不多同样的钱租了一条船。两人钓了三天，只钓到一条鱼。在回家的路上，拉里开车，哈里拨弄着计算器。一小时后，哈里说：你可知道我们钓的这条鱼几乎用掉我们2000美元？哇！拉里应答：幸亏我们没有多钓到鱼。
